Unless You’re Brown, ‘Indian Matchmaking’ Is Not Yours to Criticize

Unless You’re Brown, ‘Indian Matchmaking’ Is Not Yours to Criticize

Beside Taparia, her husband laughs. Directed by Oscar-nominated filmmaker Smriti Mundhra , Netflix series Indian Matchmaking offers an unsanitized glance into the nitty-gritty of South Asian arranged marriages. The show follows the day-to-activities of Sima Taparia, who navigates the labyrinthian love lives of Indian and immigrant millennials. Because of Taparia, the end-all of a successful marriage is compromised. Although praised by audiences for its comedic timing, Indian Matchmaking has been subject to widespread criticism for its portrayal of casteism , colorism , elitism, and sexism. The show reveals deep-seated prejudices that form the bedrock of the arranged matchmaking system. Colorism is a regular facet of the show.

In Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking,’ Arranged Marriage Is The Anti-Entanglement

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‘Indian Matchmaking‘ joins Netflix’s growing stable of dating shows like families in India and America to find desirable mates for marriage.

Five years ago, I met with a matchmaker. I went in scornful. Like many of my progressive South Asian peers, I denounced arranged marriage as offensive and regressive. But when the matchmaker recited her lengthy questionnaire, I grasped, if just for a beat, why people did things this way. Do you believe in a higher power?

No idea. Should your partner share your creative interests? Must read, though preferably not write, novels.

10 Questions We Had After Watching ‘Indian Matchmaking’

Look no further! No worries. The Marriage Game by Sara Desai. Traditional in their ways, they believe in arranged marriages. Layla goes out on the dates her father arranged.

Indian Immigrants in an American Metropolis Padma Rangaswamy One matchmaking service in California boasts a database of six thousand candidates that.

It turns out the outspoken, and “stubborn,” breakout star of Netflix’s controversial new reality dating show ‘Indian Matchmaking‘ is a romantic after all. She spoke with us recently by phone about dating and relationships. The hit show itself is about a matchmaker named Sima who helps arrange a marriage—a traditional form of courtship and matrimony in India—for clients all over the world. Every episode follows a mix of Indians and Indian-Americans as they share their romantic hopes and dreams with Sima.

They’re then matched up with other hopefuls and go out on dates. Multiple singles are set up with other singles. But Aparna is, without a doubt, the stand-out. She’s a feisty, successful woman who loves traveling and does not suffer fools. Perhaps what’s most admirable about watching Aparna on the show was that she’s not the average woman looking for a companion– she has a full understanding of who she is and what she wants and doesn’t want just anybody.

But it’s been fun exploring with them and checking out places in Houston,” Aparna said. I was terrible at throwing axes, but it was actually a lot of fun. The goat yoga was great as well.

Indian Matchmaking: It Sucks, It’s True

She is also the founder and President of Intersections Match, a relationship coaching and online dating business for Indians. Ahluwalia hosts two podcasts on Blogtalk Radio. She has also published relationship Q and A videos on her website. Jasbina Ahluwalia has written columns on relationships and dating for online forums and print publications, including YourTango, [18] Digital Romance, [19] Lavalife. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Jasbina Ahluwalia.

Netflix Indian Matchmaking: Indian Matchmaking follows a Mumbai-based ‘​matchmaker’ Sima Taparia as she helps Indian and Indian Americans find a suitable.

The first season of the show has missed presenting an all-round and inclusive picture of the Indian reality. That Indian Matchmaking has upset people across the spectrum is slightly baffling given we are a culture obsessed with arranged marriages. Newspapers embellished with matrimonial adverts — ridiculous and regressive in equal measure — are perhaps the oldest testimonies to our fixation with this robust institution. With Indian Matchmaking , this well-preserved secret is out for Western edification and that is perhaps the reason for our collective outrage against the show.

The merits and demerits of this criticism levelled against the show can be emphatically argued when placed within the cultural context our society. Zara and I are far removed when it comes to our religion. I am a Hindu and she a Muslim. It is then a little unsettling that, knowingly or unknowingly, we are turning into a culture that is systematically working towards homogenising collective experiences often at the cost of a particular community.

The Indian Muslim is either cast as an insider crusading against or paying the price of the transgressions of fellow brethren Mulk, My Name is Khan, Kedarnath or an out and out threat to the very idea of India Padmaavat, Tanhaji, Mission Kashmir, Fiza who needs to be eliminated at all costs. The everyday regular Muslim, unlike you and I who are not necessitated to wear our religious identity on our sleeves, continues to be conspicuously absent on screen.

Jasbina Ahluwalia

It might seem strange to invoke an Alice Walker essay in connection with the new Netflix reality series, Indian Matchmaking , but, here we go. The essay is revolutionary for that coinage. Walker explicitly draws a connection between skin color and marriage. Walker tells us two smaller, adjoining stories, about herself and a friend in their single days.

In the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking , the importance of skin color arrives quickly in talk of matrimony, as do other facets of packaged appearance, the sorts that indicate a notion of a stratified universe: This level of education matches with this one, this shade of skin with this, this height with this, these family values with these, this caste with this, this region with this, and so on. In the series, she takes on clients in India and America, young desi men and women who seem, for all their desire to get properly paired off, equally conflicted about the whole endeavor.

Sima Taparia in a still from ‘Indian Matchmaking‘. matchmaking as ‘the’ Indian experience – something I too missed totally till an American.

You want to share your life with someone special. I had lived my life up until that point thinking that finding a life partner is something that would not take any effort — that it is something that would just happen. After hearing that, I contacted Jasbina myself. I thought she would tell me to be someone I am not. Instead she embraced who I truly am — and helped me show that side to others.

There was a woman I wanted to meet, who I thought was out of my reach i. Intelligent, beautiful and sweet. Jasbina was able to locate her — arrange an introduction — and advise me on how to get to know her…the rest is history as they say!

Are you a parent of an Indian single living in the US?

We use cookies and other tracking technologies to improve your browsing experience on our site, show personalized content and targeted ads, analyze site traffic, and understand where our audiences come from. To learn more or opt-out, read our Cookie Policy. Taparia travels across India and the U. Indian Matchmaking has been controversial in the Indian community, both among people in India, and among the diaspora. But my wife and I were both put off something different: the lack of socioeconomic diversity on display.

Indian Matchmaking is available to stream on Netflix.

Viewers of Indian Matchmaking, a recent Netflix series hit, find themselves conflicted over the AsAmNews has Asian America in its heart.

In the two weeks or four years since Indian Matchmaking debuted on Netflix I just checked: It’s 10 days , I have watched my fellow South Asians do what we do best: Rip it apart. The Netflix reality show follows Mumbai matchmaker Sima Taparia as she takes on various clients looking to settle down. It has been called casteist, colorist, regressive — all the adjectives my generation of allegedly progressive Desis use to describe things we criticize or reject about our culture. It is being maligned, in short, for doing exactly what it meant to: Presenting a multifaceted depiction of Indians around the world through the lens of our collective obsession: Marriage.

Our society is. Let’s start with one note: Matchmaking is not the same as arranged marriage. The most irksome critiques I’ve seen of Indian Matchmaking say that it glorifies an ancient practice which sold child brides to wealthy older men or trapped people in toxic marriages. Taparia’s role is nothing of the sort; paradoxically, she functions as a human dating app, taking each client’s characteristics and desired traits in a partner and then looking for someone who might fit.

No one is under any obligation to marry or even keep dating their matches — in fact, none of them ultimately did. What makes this so interesting is that the characters are not characters at all, but real people, flawed and romantic and three-dimensional. Just as racism has layers and levels, so too do casteism and colorism. They don’t go away just because the younger generation wants them to, and they infect and ingrain themselves in us in uncomfortable ways that demand interrogation.

I am far less incensed that Richa wants a “fair” partner than I am when my supposedly woke friends hide from the sun on vacation so they won’t get darker. Over the years I’ve heard friends express that they want to marry by a certain age.

What ‘Indian Matchmaking’ gets wrong — and right

I can give her…95 marks out of It is reflective, sometimes painfully, of a custom with which we are all too familiar: arranged marriages. For desis, either your parents were arranged or you know a couple that was. Some people—yep, even millennials—willingly enter into arranged marriages, as seen on the new reality show.

While the show portrays arranged marriages in a positive although at times, vulnerable light, it simultaneously showcases the problems plaguing the ancient tradition—problems that Netflix account holders across America were quick to point out. The casual, rampant racism on IndianMatchmaking is wild, and I fear fair will fly right over the heads of all the white people watching.

Netflix series Indian Matchmaking has made waves among its global audience. But are the critics disappointed in the show, or with.

The Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia delivers this meme-friendly one-liner in the seventh episode of the hit Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. But she departs from this well-worn model in her attention to one extra characteristic: caste. This silent shadow hangs over every luxurious living room she leads viewers into. She lumps an entire social system, which assigns people to a fixed place in a hierarchy from birth, together with anodyne physical preferences.

This prejudiced treatment includes, but is hardly limited to, workplace discrimination in the United States. For example, the state of California sued the tech company Cisco in June for allegedly failing to protect a Dalit employee from discrimination by his higher-caste Brahmin managers.

Indian Matchmaking

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Jasbina Ahluwalia is a matchmaker/dating coach and a radio host. She is also the founder and President of Intersections Match, a relationship coaching and online dating business for Indians. Indian Professionals)Indus Women Leaders​AAPIIndia Community Center in Silicon Valley and The Indo-American Arts Council.

Netflix launched in India in , but it took a while to warm up to homegrown commissions in a market that thrives on local fare. It didn’t help optics that content execs Swati Shetty and Simran Sethi opted to resign rather than be based in Mumbai. They were replaced eventually by Monica Shergill in , who joined existing director of originals Srishti Behl Arya.

Amid all the restructuring, the streamer’s first Indian commission, ‘s “Sacred Games,” a hit for the service, was commissioned by Erik Barmack out of the U. Over in India, Netflix — trailing behind turbocharged local streamers and global rival Amazon Prime Video — was trying to grow its customer base by trialling cheap subscriptions. Until, of course, “Indian Matchmaking” came along, aimed squarely at India and the Indian diaspora.

Commissioned by Brandon Riegg, VP of nonfiction series and comedy specials at Netflix, the show revolves around Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia — who was also featured in “A Suitable Girl,” and was executive producer Mundhra’s own matchmaker — who arranges meetings between her clients with a view to getting them married.

The clients, all of Indian origin, are based in India or the U. Prior to filming, American reality vet Eli Holzman’s The Intellectual Property Corporation hired Indian line-production outfit Organised Chaos to sift through matrimonial advertisements in newspapers and matchmaking sites to select participants. Organised Chaos fixer Ricky Saxena contacted some matchmakers over late and early to shortlist them for the show, but Taparia remained their first preference because Mundhra was already familiar with her.

Throughout this process, the Netflix India office was not involved. It wasn’t a Netflix India Original. Inevitably, criticism followed, with the show being accused of not being inclusive enough, and promoting casteism.

The only problem with ‘Indian Matchmaking’ is that it doesn’t live up to your fantasies

Skip navigation! Story from Best of Netflix. I do not typically spend time watching reality TV , which might surprise some considering I was once on a reality show. Given my own experience and ethnic background, I wanted to love the show and be supportive, but to me the series fell flat and overly simplified and stereotyped what it means to be Indian.

Although the couples Sima fixes up are not forced to marry, the end goal of matchmaking is that, after a few dates, the people involved will commit to an eventual engagement or Roka. After having a Roka, the couple can plan their nuptials on their own timeline and get to know each other more.

Prior to filming, American reality vet Eli Holzman’s The Intellectual Property Corporation hired Indian line-production outfit Organised Chaos to sift.

We use cookies and other tracking technologies to improve your browsing experience on our site, show personalized content and targeted ads, analyze site traffic, and understand where our audiences come from. To learn more or opt-out, read our Cookie Policy. Instead, Jayaraman heard about the show through a friend and decided to complete the forms and interviews to apply for it. In the show, Jayaraman goes on two dates, one featuring a boat tour of the Chicago River with the woman he has been paired with, Nadia Jagessar.

The cameras also changed how he and Jagessar, a year-old dancer and event planner from New Jersey, interacted. On camera, they seem like a promising match, and Jayaraman said that this atmosphere was genuine at the time. Jayaraman believes that this assessment of the show is fair. In that scope, yeah, not largely successful. Know about breaking news as it happens. We follow the stories and update you as they develop. Diets that emphasize vegetables and fruits, low-fat dairy foods, moderate amounts of whole grains, fish, poultry and nuts, show positive health outcomes, studies show.

Both suspects were described as to year-old men between 5-foot-7 and 5-foot-8 weighing about pounds, authorities said. One had dark, curly hair.

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